I remember when I was in high school that guys use to talk about their dates. They might brag about how they got a girl's bra off or how they got into her pants. I found those conversations to be arousing, but I never had anything to add since I never went on dates. Eventually I did have a girlfriend but then I still had nothing to add to those conversations. She was really nice looking, but I never got past the good-night kiss stage.
Guys use to talk about masturbation too. Now I could have added quite a bit to those conversations as I spent a lot of time beating-off. But no one was bragging about being a jerk-off. It was more along the lines of put-downs. I found these conversations to be embarrassing. Somehow I was concerned that I would be found out to be a habitual masturbator. I thought that I was unusual in doing it so much.
Finally when I was 24 I started going out with a woman who would end up being my first sexual encounter. At first we just hung out. Then she started hinting that she wanted to have sex. Actually I knew from a friend who had screwed her a lot that she was very promiscuous. However nothing much happened between us at first. One night when she dropped me off at my house (she had a car and I didn't) she gave me a long, deep kiss. This really excited me and when I got inside I naturally jerked-off, savoring the memory.
The next time I saw her she informed me that after she dropped me off and went back to her apartment she went downstairs and visited her two neighbors who took turns screwing her. She said that our making out got her horny and she needed some relief. Imagine hearing that! Well, I used my imagination the next time I was alone and beat-off again. It was a bit humiliating to hear that she screwed those guys after dropping me off, but it was also exciting.
Shortly after that we were in her apartment and she left me on the couch while she went into her room. When she returned she was in a white robe. She walked over to the couch, laid down, and opened up her robe. There she was, naked except for black lace panties. Such a beautiful body, such lovely breasts! What an opportunity! I stripped down to my underwear and laid next to her. But that's as far as it went! She must have been really frustrated.
A short while later she came to visit me at my apartment. We watched TV for a bit, and then she stripped my clothes off me and starting sucking my dick! It felt so good! Unfortunately it only lasted for a minute or two.
Now I was really turned on! She stripped down and we started screwing. Her wet cunt felt even better than her mouth and in a bit I was cumming inside her. Then she left. I couldn't believe how great that was or how much I'd been missing. I masturbated over that memory quite a bit.
In the coming weeks we screwed a number of times. I really liked it, to say the least. But I wasn't mature enough to deal with an intense relationship and soon she didn't want to have anything to do with me. Now it was only masturbating over my memories.
I believe that part of the problem was that I was only into my own pleasure when we had sex. I developed several fantasies where I corrected this problem. In my fantasies I would go down on her and she would have lots of orgasms. In my fantasies I would be her sex slave and do whatever she wanted. These brought me lots of nice masturbation orgasms, but unfortunately they had nothing to do with real life.
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